Cohort Instrumentation
How to cut users without lying to yourself. The syllabus that most Mesh Mapbase alumni still keep on their desk.
Read the syllabusRead the product as it actually behaves.
Open the programmes
Three programmes currently taking names
Event Taxonomy Studio
A naming discipline that survives the third product manager and the second analytics vendor.
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Retention Diagnostics
Where D7 curves mislead British consumer apps, and how to write the footnote the board actually needs.
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How the studio teaches
Work on a live event stream, not a sample file from 2019.
Each programme opens with a private telemetry snapshot — usually from a United Kingdom consumer or fintech app that has agreed to be anonymised. You instrument, you break the taxonomy, you repair it, then you write the readout a director would actually sign.
We keep rooms small. Cartograph Studio sits twelve. Meridian Atelier sits five. Recordings exist, but the useful work happens in the Thursday clinics when someone has to explain why a funnel step is empty.
If your tracking plan is still a spreadsheet titled “events v3 FINAL”, start with Event Taxonomy Studio before Cohort Instrumentation. The flagship course assumes a stream already exists.
1,640
practitioners taught since 2015
41
live programmes last calendar year
12
seats in Cartograph Studio
3.8h
typical weekly load on Survey Desk
A measurement posture, not another vendor certification.
A taxonomy you can defend
Object, action, and property rules written so a new analyst in Manchester can add an event without summoning you from leave.
Cohorts that survive a question
Activation windows, exclusion logic, and the sentence you use when finance asks why month-two looks quiet.
Readouts for actual rooms
One-page briefs with a claim, a caveat, and a next measurement — the format our Otterburn tutors still use in client work.
A map of your own product
You finish against your company’s event stream whenever legal allows. Otherwise you work the studio’s anonymised British fintech set.
Voices from recent cohorts
“The cohort weeks are dense. I missed two Thursday clinics because of a release, and the recordings are a colder substitute for being in the room. I still open the instrumentation workbook every sprint planning.”
“Event Taxonomy Studio stopped our Mixpanel property soup. We deleted 86 names and nobody noticed except the warehouse.”
★★★★☆
“Quiet teaching. Rowan will not praise a vanity funnel. Good, if you can bear it.”
Notes from the measurement desk
Why your D7 curve is lying to the board
Retention charts flatten for reasons that have nothing to do with product quality. Here is the footnote we now insist on.
Read the note
A taxonomy that survives the third product manager
Naming is governance. The studio’s four-part rule, tested on a payments app that had three owners in eighteen months.
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North-star metrics in UK product orgs after the DMA
What still belongs on a single slide when platform data is thinner than it was in 2022.
Read the note
Invitation
If your dashboards look finished and your questions do not, write to the studio.
Survey Desk, Cartograph Studio, and Meridian Atelier are priced on the fees page. Places are confirmed by email, never by a countdown.
Write to Mesh Mapbase